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1 - 2 oz Bacardi® 151 rum
12 oz can Pepsi® cola
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Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandma
like I told you to? Yes Mom. Your handwriting seems very large. Well,
Grandma's very deaf, so I'm writing very loudly.
With four
daughters and one son always
dashing to school activities and part-time
jobs, our schedule was
hectic.
To add to this, we kept running out of household
supplies.
I instructed them all to let me know when they used the last of any
item by writing it down on a note pad on the
refrigerator.
As a reminder, I wrote at the top: "IF WE ARE OUT OF IT, WRITE IT
DOWN."
When I checked the pad a few days later, to my delight I
found the
following message:
"MOM, YOU MAY BE A BIT
OLD-FASHIONED, BUT YOU ARE NOT 'OUT OF
IT."'
There was once a young man who,
in his
youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to
define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that
the whole world
will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly
emotional
level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and
anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. Rodney Dangerfield
All phone calls are obscene. Karen Elizabeth Gordon
Communism is like one big phone company. Lenny Bruce