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Jokes about Writing

Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandma like I told you to? Yes Mom. Your handwriting seems very large. Well, Grandma's very deaf, so I'm writing very loudly.

With four daughters and one son always dashing to school activities and part-time jobs, our schedule was hectic. To add to this, we kept running out of household supplies. I instructed them all to let me know when they used the last of any item by writing it down on a note pad on the refrigerator. As a reminder, I wrote at the top: "IF WE ARE OUT OF IT, WRITE IT DOWN." When I checked the pad a few days later, to my delight I found the following message: "MOM, YOU MAY BE A BIT OLD-FASHIONED, BUT YOU ARE NOT 'OUT OF IT."'

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Quotes about Health

...happiness gives us the energy which is the basis of health. Henri-Frdric Amiel

[Sleep is] the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together. Thomas Dekker

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. John Updike