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Why is it that when you transport
something by car, it's called
ship-ment but when you transport something
by ship it's called cargo?
Three men died in a car accident and
met
Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.
The Lord spoke unto
them saying, "I will ask you each a simple
question. If you tell the
truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you
lie....Hell is
waiting for you.
To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times
did you cheat on your
wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a
good husband. I never
cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very
good! Not only will I
allow you in, but for being faithful to your
wife I will give you a huge
mansion and a limo for your
transportation.
To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you
cheat on
your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my
wife twice."
The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for
your
unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW.
To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did y
ou cheat on
your wife?" The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on
my wife about
8 times." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come
in, but for
your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment,
and a Yugo for
your transportation.
A couple hours later
the second and third men saw the first man crying
his eyes out. "Why
are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the
mansion and limo!"
The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw
my wife a little
while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!"
What do bees do if they want to use public
transport ?
Wait at a buzz stop !
Ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same posture with creeping. Jonathan Swift
Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office. David Broder
Friendship is constant in all other things
Save in the office and affairs of love:
Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues;
Let every eye negotiate for itself
And trust no agent. William Shakespeare