Non-Alcoholic 2 large bananas
2 handfuls red, seedless grapes
1 cup ice
1/4 cup milk
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Entertainment
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A man is
walking down the street when he hears
a voice, "Pssst you come over
here!" He looks round and can see no
one but an old mangy greyhound.
"yes over here!" Said the greyhound
"Look at me I'm tied up here, I
should be racing I won 14 races in
my carrer you know?" The man thought
to himself "Oh my god a
talking dog, I have to have it, it will make
me rich, tv appearances
cabaret bookings" So he goes in search of the
owner.
He found
the owner and said "I'd like to buy your dog, is he for
sale??" The
owner says "No mate you don't want that old moth eaten
thing!"
"But I do!" Insisted the man "I'lll give you 1000 pounds for
him. "Ok
said the owner but I think your making a big mistake!" Handing
over
the money the man said "Why do you think that?" The man replied
"Because that dogs a bloody liar it's never won a race in it's
life!"
What happened when the
witch went for a job as
a TV presenter?
The producer said she had the perfect face for
radio.
'You
never get anything right,'
complained the teacher. 'What kind of job
do you think you'll get when you
leave school ?'
'Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV.'
A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not. Henry Fielding
Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. Thomas Jefferson
All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else. H. L. Mencken