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Jokes about TV

A man is walking down the street when he hears a voice, "Pssst you come over here!" He looks round and can see no one but an old mangy greyhound. "yes over here!" Said the greyhound "Look at me I'm tied up here, I should be racing I won 14 races in my carrer you know?" The man thought to himself "Oh my god a talking dog, I have to have it, it will make me rich, tv appearances cabaret bookings" So he goes in search of the owner. He found the owner and said "I'd like to buy your dog, is he for sale??" The owner says "No mate you don't want that old moth eaten thing!" "But I do!" Insisted the man "I'lll give you 1000 pounds for him. "Ok said the owner but I think your making a big mistake!" Handing over the money the man said "Why do you think that?" The man replied "Because that dogs a bloody liar it's never won a race in it's life!"

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter? The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

'You never get anything right,' complained the teacher. 'What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school ?' 'Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV.'

Quotes about House

...probably the greatest concentration of talent and genius in this house except for perhaps those times when Thomas Jefferson ate alone. John F. Kennedy

[The body is] a marvelous machine...a chemical laboratory, a power-house. Every movement, voluntary or involuntary, full of secrets and marvels! Theodor Herzl

A book holds a house of gold. Chinese Proverb