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A man is
walking down the street when he hears
a voice, "Pssst you come over
here!" He looks round and can see no
one but an old mangy greyhound.
"yes over here!" Said the greyhound
"Look at me I'm tied up here, I
should be racing I won 14 races in
my carrer you know?" The man thought
to himself "Oh my god a
talking dog, I have to have it, it will make
me rich, tv appearances
cabaret bookings" So he goes in search of the
owner.
He found
the owner and said "I'd like to buy your dog, is he for
sale??" The
owner says "No mate you don't want that old moth eaten
thing!"
"But I do!" Insisted the man "I'lll give you 1000 pounds for
him. "Ok
said the owner but I think your making a big mistake!" Handing
over
the money the man said "Why do you think that?" The man replied
"Because that dogs a bloody liar it's never won a race in it's
life!"
What happened when the
witch went for a job as
a TV presenter?
The producer said she had the perfect face for
radio.
'You
never get anything right,'
complained the teacher. 'What kind of job
do you think you'll get when you
leave school ?'
'Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV.'
If I didn't have my films as an outlet for all the different sides of me, I would probably be locked up. Angelina Jolie
In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man. Alfred Hitchcock
Man is an animal which, alone among the animals, refuses to be satisfied by the fulfilment of animal desires. Alexander Graham Bell