Cocktails 3 oz Amaretto Di Amore® liqueur
2 oz Malibu® coconut rum
1 oz Bacardi® white rum
3 - 6 oz orange juice
3 - 6 oz pineapple juice
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A drunk stammers out of a bar
and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ''I'm
Jesus
Christ.''
The first priest says, ''No, son, I'm
Jesus Christ.''
So the drunk says it to the second priest.
The second priest replies, ''No, son, I'm Jesus Christ.''
The drunk says, ''Look, I can prove it.'' and walks back into
the
bar with the priests.
The bartender takes on look at the
drunk and exclaims, ''Jesus
Christ, you're here again?''
A guy stumbles
through the
front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a
beer.
The bartender looks at the drunk man and says,"I'm sorry sir, but
I
can't serve you...you've already had too much to drink." The
guy
swears and walks out of the bar.
Five minutes later the
guy comes flying through the side door of the
bar, and yells for a
beer.
Again the bartender says,"I'm sorry, sir...but I can't
serve
you...you've already had too much to drink!"
Ten
minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back
door
of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer.
Again, the bartender says to the man..."I'm really sorry, sir, but
you've had too much to drink...you're going to have to leave!"
The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, "My God,
man... How many bars do you work at?!!!"
Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your
bath, Mrs Soap?
Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I'd drunk the
bath there wasn't
room for medicine.
Ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same posture with creeping. Jonathan Swift
Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office. David Broder
Friendship is constant in all other things
Save in the office and affairs of love:
Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues;
Let every eye negotiate for itself
And trust no agent. William Shakespeare