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A drunk stammers out of a bar
and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ''I'm
Jesus
Christ.''
The first priest says, ''No, son, I'm
Jesus Christ.''
So the drunk says it to the second priest.
The second priest replies, ''No, son, I'm Jesus Christ.''
The drunk says, ''Look, I can prove it.'' and walks back into
the
bar with the priests.
The bartender takes on look at the
drunk and exclaims, ''Jesus
Christ, you're here again?''
A guy stumbles
through the
front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a
beer.
The bartender looks at the drunk man and says,"I'm sorry sir, but
I
can't serve you...you've already had too much to drink." The
guy
swears and walks out of the bar.
Five minutes later the
guy comes flying through the side door of the
bar, and yells for a
beer.
Again the bartender says,"I'm sorry, sir...but I can't
serve
you...you've already had too much to drink!"
Ten
minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back
door
of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer.
Again, the bartender says to the man..."I'm really sorry, sir, but
you've had too much to drink...you're going to have to leave!"
The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, "My God,
man... How many bars do you work at?!!!"
Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your
bath, Mrs Soap?
Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I'd drunk the
bath there wasn't
room for medicine.
If I didn't have my films as an outlet for all the different sides of me, I would probably be locked up. Angelina Jolie
In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man. Alfred Hitchcock
Man is an animal which, alone among the animals, refuses to be satisfied by the fulfilment of animal desires. Alexander Graham Bell
BING - Pet form of BINGHAM Origin: English
LOTTA - Petite Beauty Origin: Latin
LOTTIE - Petite Beauty Origin: Latin
According to Gaming Law, casinos have to stock enough cash to cover all the chips on the 'floor'.
According to U.S. laws, a beer commercial can never show a person actually drinking beer.
Farmers in England are required by law to provide their pigs with toys!