TheBestJokes.info

Portal with funny stuff

The best jokes

Jokes about Run

A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ''I'm Jesus Christ.'' The first priest says, ''No, son, I'm Jesus Christ.'' So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies, ''No, son, I'm Jesus Christ.'' The drunk says, ''Look, I can prove it.'' and walks back into the bar with the priests. The bartender takes on look at the drunk and exclaims, ''Jesus Christ, you're here again?''

A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the drunk man and says,"I'm sorry sir, but I can't serve you...you've already had too much to drink." The guy swears and walks out of the bar. Five minutes later the guy comes flying through the side door of the bar, and yells for a beer. Again the bartender says,"I'm sorry, sir...but I can't serve you...you've already had too much to drink!" Ten minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back door of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer. Again, the bartender says to the man..."I'm really sorry, sir, but you've had too much to drink...you're going to have to leave!" The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, "My God, man... How many bars do you work at?!!!"

Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap? Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I'd drunk the bath there wasn't room for medicine.

Quotes about Film

If I didn't have my films as an outlet for all the different sides of me, I would probably be locked up. Angelina Jolie

In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man. Alfred Hitchcock

Man is an animal which, alone among the animals, refuses to be satisfied by the fulfilment of animal desires. Alexander Graham Bell

Names with meaning about Home

AMERICA - Home ruler Origin: German

AMERICUS - Home ruler Origin: German

AMERIGO - Home ruler Origin: Italian

Funny fact of the day

Babies who wear disposable diapers are five times more likely to develop diaper rash than those that wear cotton diapers.

Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.

Because metal was scarce; the Oscars given out during World War II were made of plaster.