Cocktails 1 1/4 oz cognac
1 oz Grand Marnier® orange liqueur
1 oz triple sec
sweet and sour mix
Sprite® soda
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Two biologists are in the field following the
tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear. All of a sudden, the bear
crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They scramble up
the
nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after
them. The
first biologist starts taking off his heavy leather hiking
boots and pulls
a pair of sleek running shoes from his back-pack.
The second biologist
gives him a puzzled look and says, "What in the
world are you doing?"
He replies, "I figure when the bear gets close
to us, we'll jump down
and make a run for it."
The second
guy says, "Are you crazy? We both know you can't outrun a
full-grown grizzly bear."
The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun
the bear, I only have to
outrun you!"
What happened when the
witch went for a job as
a TV presenter?
The producer said she had the perfect face for
radio.
Is it ok to use my AM radio after
NOON?
[Humanity] has unquestionably one really effective weaponlaughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecutionthese can lift at a colossal humbugpush it a littleweaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atom Mark Twain
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. Bob Hope
A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money. Senator Everett Dirksen