Punches 750 ml bottle of cheap rum
3 liters any flavor bottle of cheap soda
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Entertainment
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A young ventriloquist is touring the
clubs
and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in
Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual
dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her
chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid
blonde
jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the
color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as
a human being?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from
being respected at work
and in the community and from reaching our full
potential as a person,
because you and your kind continue to
perpetuate discrimination
against, not only blondes, but women in
general...and all in the name of
humor!"The ventriloquist is embarrassed
and begins to apologize, when the
blonde yells, "You stay out of
this, mister! I'm talking to that
little idiot on your knee!"
Peter: My brother wants
to work
badly!
Anita: As I remember, he usually does !
A man is driving along in the Irish
countryside, when he
comes to a petrol station, since he's in need of
petrol, the man decides
to stop. He says to the attendant at the
station, "Fill it up, will
you?". The man says "Sorry - we're right
out of petrol." So the man
considers, and says "Well, I'm a bit low
on oil, would you mind
topping that up?" And the attendant
responds"Sorry, but no oil either."
The man thinks, and asks the attendant
to wash his windscreen, to which
he gets the by-now predictable
response that he can't do that. The man
at this point is fairly mad,
so he asks the attendant "Just what kind
of petrol station is this
?" The attendant then looks both ways, and
very carefully whispers
to the man "To tell you the truth, this is just
an IRA front."
The man then says "Well, in that case, you can blow up the tyres
!"
[The television is] an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. David Frost
A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. Rodney Dangerfield
A good home must be made, not bought. Joyce Maynard