Cocktails 1 tbsp cayenne pepper
2 oz 100 proof Smirnoff® vodka
3 oz tomato juice
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Who loves
hamburgers, French fries, and
ants?
Ronald MacAardvark!
Why do
accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
A man asked his wife, "What would you most
like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be ten
again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early
and they
went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park
- the Death
Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a
go on every ride
there was.
She staggered out of the theme
park five hours later, her head reeling
and her stomach
turning.
Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets.
At
last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into
bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being
ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey,
I meant dress
size!"
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Mark Twain
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. C. S. Lewis
Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. Joel Hawes