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Jokes about Internet

Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Exactly five hundred. 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed. 7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs. 17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs. 21 to flame the spell checkers. 49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list. 20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames. 32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb. 69 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bul bs be stopped. 41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this mail list. 106 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty. 12 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs. 8 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs. 2 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list. 15 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add pointedly, "Me Too." 6 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy. 9 to quote the "Me Too's" and happily add, "Me Three!" 3 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ. 1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup. 24 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here. 53 votes for alt.lite.bulb.

What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.

Can you show me how to use the Internet? I'd better - otherwise you'll just go round and round in circles.

Quotes about Sun

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Mark Twain

A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. C. S. Lewis

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. Joel Hawes