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Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
A: 1.99904274017, but that's close
enough for non-technical people.
How many C++ programmers does it take to
change a light
bulb?
"You're still thinking procedurally! A properly
designed light bulb
object would inherit a change method from a
generic light bulb
class!"
Flight fifty
has a pretty rough time
above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the
intercom: "Ladies and
gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and
assume crash
positions. We have lost our engines and we are trying to put
this baby as
gentle as possible down on the water".
"Oh stewardess! Are there
any sharks in the ocean below?" asks a
little old lady,
terrified.
"Yes, I'm afraid there are some. But not to worry, we have a
special
gel in the bottle next to your chair designed especially for
emergencies like this. Just rub the gel onto your arms and
legs".
"And if I do this, the sharks won't eat me any more?" asks the
little lady.
"Oh, they will eat you all right, only they
won't enjoy it so
much".
A dinner lubricates business. Lord William Stowell
A great preservative against angry and mutinous thoughts, and all impatience and quarreling, is to have some great business and interest in your mind, which, like a sponge shall suck up your attention and keep you from brooding over what displeases you. Joseph Rickaby
A man should not leave this earth with unfinished business. He should live each day as if it was a pre-flight check. He should ask each morning, am I prepared to lift-off? Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider