Cocktails 2/3 oz vodka
2/3 oz Cointreau® orange liqueur
2/3 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
2/3 oz fresh lemon juice
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A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it
reached a
comfortable
cruising altitude, the captain made an
announcement over the
intercom, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your
captain speaking.
Welcome to
Flight number 293, non-stop from New
York to Los Angeles. The weather
ahead is good and therefore we
should have a smooth flight, Now sit
back
and relax. - OH MY
GOD!"
Silence
Then, the captain came back on the intercom and
said: "Ladies and
Gentlemen, I an so sorry if I scared you earlier,
but while I was
talking
the flight attendant brought me a cup
of coffee and spilled the hot
coffee
in my lap. You should see
the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Coach said: "That's
nothing. He should see the back of
mine!"
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to
prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his
fellow
inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good
person and made
arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his
time. After
three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best
carpenters in the local
area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to
do odd jobs for the
citizens of the community.... and he always
reported back to prison before
Sunday night was over.
The
warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done
much
of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of
kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife.
So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job
for
him.
But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, "Gosh,
I'd really like
to help you but counter fitting is what got
me into prison in the first
place".
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in
the
early hours of Sunday morning.
"Mr Graham sir, White Hart
Lane is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" cries
George.
"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
My prerogative right now is to just chill and let all the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly (magazine) be your entertainment. Britney Spears
There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, offers more entertainment than the TV set. Harriet Van Horne
ANDREAS - Manly Origin: Greek
ANDREN - From the town of Ardres, France Origin: English
ANDRES - Manly Origin: Spanish