Cocktails 3 oz Absolut® vodka
1 oz DeKuyper® Cheri-Beri Pucker schnapps
8 oz lemonade
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Can you repeat the part after "Listen
very
carefully"?
Why is it that when you transport
something by car, it's called
ship-ment but when you transport something
by ship it's called cargo?
A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it
reached a
comfortable
cruising altitude, the captain made an
announcement over the
intercom, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your
captain speaking.
Welcome to
Flight number 293, non-stop from New
York to Los Angeles. The weather
ahead is good and therefore we
should have a smooth flight, Now sit
back
and relax. - OH MY
GOD!"
Silence
Then, the captain came back on the intercom and
said: "Ladies and
Gentlemen, I an so sorry if I scared you earlier,
but while I was
talking
the flight attendant brought me a cup
of coffee and spilled the hot
coffee
in my lap. You should see
the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Coach said: "That's
nothing. He should see the back of
mine!"
[The television is] an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. David Frost
A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. Rodney Dangerfield
A good home must be made, not bought. Joyce Maynard