Shots & Shooters 1/4 oz Captain Morgan® Original spiced rum
1/4 oz coconut rum
1/6 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
1/6 oz pineapple juice
1/6 oz grenadine syrup
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While trying to diagnose a
problem over
the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file.
He
said it said "File not found".
I told him to do a dir.
I
asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed.
He said, "Well it says
autoexec, then there's some spaces, but no
dot, and then it says
bat."
I said type this in "type autoexec.bat".
Again he got
"File not found".
I asked him to tell me exactly what he
typed.
He said, "I typed just what you told me: `type
autoexecdotbat'.
Customer: "I've been doing risk analysis by
hand for
five years, and we finally got your program so we could do
it
automatically -- but there's a bug in it. The answers come out
differently each
time."
Tech Support: "Sir, are you aware that
our program uses Monte-Carlo
analysis?"
Customer: "Of course I
am. That's why I bought it."
Tech Support: "Sir, do you know what
Monte-Carlo analysis does?"
Customer: "Don't get rude with me, of
course I do."
Tech Support: "Put briefly, sir, it runs through your
project several
times, throwing random delays in, and at the end it
averages out the
results."
Customer: "I know all that -- what I
want to know is why it keeps
giving me different answers every time
I run it."
After the first
takeoff of the fully
automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing,
reassuring voice
of the pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your
automatic pilot.
In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is
absolutely
impossible, absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible,
..."
A hundred years ago, the electric telegraph made possible - indeed, inevitable - the United States of America. The communications satellite will make equally inevitable a United Nations of Earth; let us hope that the transition period will not be equally Arthur C. Clarke
A lot of the things we've done have been common sense. You do what makes sense to you and make moves that you are comfortable making. Everything is having fun in mind. Jeffrey Kalmikoff
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. Mark Twain