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Drink of the day:

Bart Simpson #2 recipeShots & Shooters
by base-ingredient
Bart Simpson #2 recipe
A delicious recipe for Bart Simpson #2, with Malibu® coconut rum, Midori® melon liqueur and Smirnoff® vodka. Also lists similar drink recipes.
Ingredients:

1 oz Malibu® coconut rum
1 oz Midori® melon liqueur
1 oz Smirnoff® vodka


Method:
Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake well, strain into shot glasses, and serve.
Serve:
Shot Glass



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The best jokes

Jokes about Auto

Computer jokesWhile trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file. He said it said "File not found". I told him to do a dir. I asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed. He said, "Well it says autoexec, then there's some spaces, but no dot, and then it says bat." I said type this in "type autoexec.bat". Again he got "File not found". I asked him to tell me exactly what he typed. He said, "I typed just what you told me: `type autoexecdotbat'.

Computer jokesCustomer: "I've been doing risk analysis by hand for five years, and we finally got your program so we could do it automatically -- but there's a bug in it. The answers come out differently each time." Tech Support: "Sir, are you aware that our program uses Monte-Carlo analysis?" Customer: "Of course I am. That's why I bought it." Tech Support: "Sir, do you know what Monte-Carlo analysis does?" Customer: "Don't get rude with me, of course I do." Tech Support: "Put briefly, sir, it runs through your project several times, throwing random delays in, and at the end it averages out the results." Customer: "I know all that -- what I want to know is why it keeps giving me different answers every time I run it."

Aviation jokesAfter the first takeoff of the fully automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing, reassuring voice of the pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your automatic pilot. In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, ..."



Quotes about Job

Alice ChildressA gift - be it a present, a kind word or a job done with care and love - explains itself!... and if receivin' it embarrasses you, it's because your 'thanks box' is warped. Alice Childress

AristotleAll paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. Aristotle

H. L. MenckenAll successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else. H. L. Mencken